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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364709">I thought I would seem cool</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underwater_witch/pseuds/Underwater_witch'>Underwater_witch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angry Arashi, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, How Do I Tag, M/M, Not Beta Read, kinda mutual pining but not really, talking about sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:33:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underwater_witch/pseuds/Underwater_witch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Mika tells Arashi he had sex with Shu, but forgot to inform Shu about it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I thought I would seem cool</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I also have a version in Russian but idk if I want to publish it...</p><p>If you see any grammatical mistakes, please contact me and tell, English is not my best side.<br/>Also Mika's accent is hard, I will edit it later, huh.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shu was drinking tea peacefully and drawing new costume designs when he heard an unusually loud knock at the door. He sighed and stood up to open the door. <i>"Oh, Kagehira, not only you are late, but you have lost your keys again, I'll have to-" </i></p><p>“ITSUKI SHU YOU MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CUTE NAIVE MIKA YOU FUCKING PERVERT!”</p><p>Shu felt himself being grabbed by the collar and pushed to the wall forcefully. The door slammed shut with a loud sound, making Shu flinch. He couldn’t see the face, but he could tell by the voice it was Arashi. Terribly angry Arashi. He had never seen her so angry. Actually, he had never experienced this much anger since he moved from his parents.</p><p>“Narukami, wh-“</p><p>“SHUT UP, YOU CREEP” She hit his face. A pain convinced him that it was a reality, but also that it was a pretty bad reality. He didn't understand what was happening. Shu felt his anger growing.</p><p>“Narukami, pl-please …”</p><p>“Ah, so now you're asking, right? Of course, you don't need to ask Mika-chan anything, he already obeys every your word, why would you bother taking his opinion into account.”</p><p>“K-kagehira? What about him?”</p><p>“Stop pretending to be stupid! He told me everything!” Narukami flashed her eyes and pressed Shu to the wall even stronger so that he could hardly breathe.</p><p>“I …” Shu began to resist and tried to push Arishi aside “Narukami, shit! Let me go! Can we talk like normal people, I really do not understand! I won’t run away, if you are thinking of that!” The last sentence was a bit sarcastic but Shu tried his best not to simply start a fight.</p><p>Arashi's grasp weakened, she could not be furious for a long time after all. But before releasing him completely, she once again gave him a ringing slap in the face. Shu rubbed his sore spot with poorly concealed anger and sat down on a nearby sofa.</p><p>“I hope you really have a good reason to break into my house and beat me up.”</p><p>Arashi snorted.<br/>
“So raping my best friend doesn’t sound reasonable enough for you, huh?”</p><p>Shu instantly forgot about the pain. His eyes widened and he frowned.</p><p>“W-w-what? What are you talking about? Kagehira was raped? Who dared! Where? When? “ </p><p>Arashi frowned and raised her tone again.</p><p>“Don't be an idiot. He told me everything"</p><p>“Told what-”</p><p>At that moment, they heard the sound of a turning key and the creak of a door.</p><p>“Good evening, Oshi-san, sorry for bein' late... “ Mika began to talk, opening the door, not seeing what was happening in the room. Two angry pairs of eyes stared at him as he walked in. Arashi immediately tried to soften and smile, and Shu only frowned more. Mika dropped the grocery bag he was carrying in his hand.</p><p>“Kagehira” said Shu coldly and weakly ” would you please enter the room and close the door.”</p><p>Kagehira swallowed, but after a second died away, hastily picked up the package and closed the door.</p><p>“S-Sorry, yes, of course,” he muttered, embarrassed. “Arashi, what ... what are ya doin' here?” Mika looked up in confusion.</p><p>“Mika-chan, sweety” Arashi ran up to him, gently touching his hand and as if calming, “remember, what you told me?” Mika raised an eyebrow in confusion “Well, about your "contact" with your "Oshi-san"?" Mika froze “Despite how cute and you cheerfully told it, I understand, and maybe you do either, that it was… ah, a rape. A clear and common rape. Maybe you are willing to forget about it and never talk again because you feel dirty. Maybe you justify his actions because he brainwashed you and you adore him. Maybe you were just too afraid this monster” she threateningly turned towards Shu “was watching you. I’ll try to help you get through this either way, your sister is always here for you. But firstly, of course, you should move away from this tyrant and bastard. I will make sure to end his career forever and bring the case to court, do not even hesitate” the last part of the phrase was addressed to Shu and was accompanied by a very angry look.</p><p>“Maybe then finally tell me?” Shu was already tired of not understanding anything and also turned into anger “Kagehira, what's going on?</p><p>Mika grew paler and paler.</p><p>“O-oshi-san…” his legs betrayed him and he fell to the floor “Oshi-san, Naru-chan, I c-can explain everything, really!”</p><p>"You better do”</p><p>“Come on! You already tell him what to do enough!”</p><p>“Naru-chan... Naru-chan, please don't be mad at me!” Arashi tilted her head in surprise “What I told ya yesterday was... 's not true. This never happened. I made it up. I…" his voice shivered "I was very jealous of listenin' to yar stories 'bout yar personal life and I ... I invented mine. I never thought it'd sound so bad. I would never, ever shame Oshi-san like that. I… I…" With every word, his voice became more uncertain until he finally fell silent and began to cry quietly. He wanted to hide, to run away, to scream, he wanted to throw himself to the past so that he could stop this. He just wanted to look a little more mature, he never wanted it to end up like that!</p><p>There was silence in the room.</p><p>“Darling...” finally Arashi broke the silence "you shouldn't have... It's better to do these things late but with the one you love the way you love than… like this... “ she didn't know what to say "fufufu, let's talk about it tomorrow, alright? I think we do have something to talk about. I am sorry for making you feel this way" she kissed his forehead and stroked his head. He shuddered. “And you, Shu... “ she looked at him guiltily “forgive me, please. I'm sorry I shouldn't have reacted so thoughtlessly. Please don't tell anyone... I'll give you my skincare oil if you want, I know you appreciate skincare. Sorry" she lowered her eyes “but you also should understand. Your relationship with Kagehira… is not very usual. He is very vulnerable and listens to you much more than people usually listen to each other. I worry about him."</p><p>“I understand,” Shu said dryly.</p><p>"Okay, I'll go then. Sorry again for the intrusion. See you, Mika. ”Arashi awkwardly patted Mika once more and slipped through the door, leaving the two of them alone.</p><p>There was a ringing silence for several minutes, the tension could be cut with a knife. Shu looked at Mika with a mixture of anger and shock, Mika looked at the floor with guilt and shame.</p><p>"So what exactly did you tell her?"</p><p>“How… how d'ya… how 're we… nuuuh, god, I can't say that, ‘s too stupid."</p><p>"About how did we make love, right? Don't sit on the floor like an idiot, come here" he patted the seat on the sofa next to him. Mika nervously got up and walked over, but didn't sit down.</p><p>"Well ... yes," Mika was embarrassed "only... Naru-chan was correct, ‘s more like rape."</p><p>“I cannot believe, after all this time, after everything I’ve done for you, when I thought I got your trust, it occurs to you to spread such ridiculous rumours about me! Did you really want to humiliate me with something so... dirty? Not just violence, sexual assault, Kagehira, how did you come up with that! If you wanted to move out or of a unit, you could…"</p><p>“NO!”</p><p>“Pardon?”</p><p>“I didn't wanna move out or leave the unit! Never!”</p><p>“Then what prompted you to such ridiculous gossip?”</p><p>“ …”</p><p>“I am waiting, Kagehira”</p><p>“Ya won't like it”</p><p>“Do you think I like when Narukami hits me?” Mika cringed</p><p>“I love ya,” Mika said with almost only air. Shu blinked his eyes.</p><p>“Pardon, what?”</p><p>“I... love ya very much” Mika looked anywhere, but not at Shu ”You can't even imagine how much you mean to me. At first, I thought I was just grateful for what ya did for me, but then I began to notice how distracted I was by the movement of yar hands, how I could not hear the words 'cause of the beauty of yar voice. I noticed how much more beautiful and graceful ya're than all other people. And it was too late when I realized I wanted you... in sexual way. I want ya to touch my body, I want to whisper in your ear, I want to please you in every way possible.”</p><p>“...”</p><p>“Y’know, since I realized this, I didn’t find a place for myself and felt ashamed every second being next to ya. I even thought to return to the village for a while, so I wouldn't see ya so often. I've been... sexually active before, an’ now I've completely lost control. Every day I cannot calm down, imaginin' same scenes again and again. I told myself that I'm a bad doll, that good dolls 're clean and don't think too much. But these thoughts turned into whanting to be yar... doll in sex. So that ya fuck me as ya please, without lookin' back at my worries. You're perfect and worthy of worship. This is how the thoughts I voiced to Naru-chan were born.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>Mika resisted the urge to run and hide. Once you have begun, then you need to bring it to the end.</p><p>“You're a fucking pervert, Mika” a swear word that Shu never used, and the call by name that Shu used even less than never, made Mika shrink. But the tone was surprisingly soft.</p><p>“I know, Oshi-san, I…”</p><p>“Shhshh” Shu reached out and touched Mika's hand, took his palm in his "Sit down" Mika obeyed.</p><p>“Do you at least understand that all this time I was holding back my desire for you?” Mika's eyes widened.</p><p>“B-but you didn't seem...”</p><p>“Of course I didn't seem, I at least have some self-control left!”</p><p>“Sorry...”</p><p>“Stop.”</p><p>There was a silence that could be cut with a knife. The warmth of someone else's hand burned Mika's hand. Mika didn't understand what he was feeling, didn't understand what he should do. Is Oshisan kidding? Is Oshisan angry? Is Oshisan waiting for Mika to react to choose how to punish him later?</p><p>While Mika stupidly ran his eyes around the room, not noticing anything around and withdrawing into himself, Shu came closer and gently, weightlessly stroked his cheek. Mika froze.</p><p>“You are afraid of me,” Shu did not ask but stated. Mika stopped breathing.</p><p>Shu grunted sadly and stroked his cheek more tangibly, gently lifting Mika's face and looking straight into his eyes.</p><p>“What are you thinking about, Kagehira?” as if by chance he asked, although in fact he was worried and embarrassed no less than Mika.</p><p>“I… Oh… Mh…” Mika’s muscles were so tense that he wouldn’t be able to speak right away, “I don’t want Oshisan to get angry and kick me outta Valkyrie,” he humbly admitted.</p><p>“What do you think I feel now?”</p><p>Mika was embarrassed to even look Shu in the eyes.</p><p>“I dunno. Ya don't usually show emotion. I think ya're hurt and disgusted by all the words my dirty mouth said. And by what Naru-chan did to ya…”</p><p>"I see.”</p><p>Unexpectedly for both of them, Shu bent down, quickly approached and gently but sensually kissed Miku on the lips. When Mika understood with a panic what’s happening, Shu had already pulled away and watched his reaction with a soft half-smile.</p><p>“Y-you ... you!”</p><p>“God, Kagehira, you are adorable! It's a pity I don't have a camera right now” Shu was clearly pleased with himself.</p><p>"But-but I insulted you so much!"</p><p>“Hmm” Shu pretended to think about it “I think we can discuss it. And you will be forgiven if...“ he mysteriously fell silent.</p><p>“If?” Mika was one tense nerve. But the prospect of being forgiven inspired him greatly” I'm ready to do anything for ya, really! Just tell me!”</p><p>“Yes, about that” Shu frowned ”I will forgive you if we properly talk about it. You cannot trust people so unconditionally as a fool! That way one day they will hurt you!”</p><p>“Oshi-san could never hurt me!”</p><p>“I wouldn't be so sure of that” Shu murmured to himself. And then loud again said “So, I will forget about this whole situation if we talk about your credulity and...“ he was trying to sound confident but he didn’t know what he was doing “...and you will formulate at least some actions, which cannot be done to you even by me. You must respect yourself, Mika, you cannot see yourself as a simple weak-willed toy.”</p><p>Mika was confused but asking questions and make this conversation even longer surely was harder than just accepting it. He nodded, nervously bit his lip and asked the only one thing that really bothered him.</p><p>“Um, Oshi-san…. What ‘bout, um… all these sexual things” </p><p>“Let's see along the way. But if I were you, I would start studying lubricants” the last phrase was said mockingly but also shyly and Shu turned pink.</p><p>Mika sat in a slight stupor.</p><p>“Well, since you’re back home, take care of the cleaning, and I’m going to sew costumes,” Shu stammered quickly, trying to change the subject and flew out of the room.</p><p>“Aye-aye!” Mika answered half-happily to the already closed door and rose smoothly. He touched his lips, checking if that was real. He wanted to laugh at the strangeness of the situation, but thought it might hurt Oshisan. Happy, thinking about his with Oshi-san future, he reached out the broom and started tidying, nearly dancing. Shu saw him in the door slip and softly smiled.</p>
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